(no subject)

My first away trip with HawkSupport, along the coast to Lewes. There weren't enough of us to justify a coach, so we went by train - I was first to arrive at Havant station, most of the others were having fry-up breakfasts in the cafe down the road. Pete appeared not long after me, and bought tickets for us both on his Railcard - £9.50 each.

Today being Mo Harkin's birthday, as his middle name is Presley the guys decided to have an Elvis Day. Malc and a couple of others wore Elvis masks, but Simon was the star, turning up in full Elvis costume and wig! Les's 10-year-old son Ash piped up "I was going to bring the toilet." Simon said sharply "That's not funny. And Elvis isn't dead." Malc gave Pete and me pelters for buying our tickets earlier and so excluding ourselves from GroupSave, leaving the rest of them to get into threes and fours - we would actually have saved a couple of quid each if we'd waited and joined them. You live and learn.

I'd been warned by Malc yesterday that conversation on HawkSupport trips takes place at the level of relentless banter. And so it proved - they're total nutters! We got to Brighton at 11.20 so decided to go for a beer before going on to Lewes. We found a pub called The Railway Bell just across the road from the station. Big thumbs up - they sold Spitfire Kentish Ale :) Pete and Mark turned out to be fellow real ale aficionados. We all sat at the tables outside in the sun, discussing favourite music and shouting 'Elvis Lives' at passers-by - Simon obliged some of them with a few waves, though he wouldn't blow a kiss to one lady who asked! A passing Crystal Palace fan thought we were Doncaster Rovers supporters (Donny were visiting Brighton), and wanted to wish us luck against the Seagulls! We put him straight, but said he could still wish us luck if he wanted... When he'd gone, Mark said indignantly "Do we sound like Northerners?" Aly added "And since when do Doncaster play in yellow?" As we'd be meeting our mate Lewis when we got to Lewes, Simon made endless wordplays about phoning Lewis in Lewes...

Just up the road from Lewes station we called at a pub. They didn't sell grub, but on the plus side they did sell Hoegaarden :))) We discussed the team's prospects while listening to the 20 songs Mark had put on the juke box. When Elvis came on singing 'Suspicious Minds', Aly and Tracey called on Simon to sing, but Simon said "I don't do performances."

Once we got inside the ground, I headed for the teabar to assuage my hunger. The two girls serving said "Can we ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why are your fans dressed as Elvis?"

I explained about one of our players' middle name being Presley and it being his birthday. They smiled and served me my quarter pounder and chips.

In the area by the teabar we were joined by Lee, who was also wearing full Elvis costume - but with a wig that looked more like an Arab's beard! Aly promptly christened him Abdul. When Mo Harkin emerged from the tunnel, he was promptly serenaded with "Can't Help Falling In Love With You Following Havant-Ville". Malc asked Mo to sign his Elvis mask with his full name, Maurice Presley Harkin; he did.

Ten minutes before kick-off I got an incoming text - it was girlafraid1973 wanting help with a competition on "Tash's brekkie show" (presumably local radio round her way). She wanted song titles relating to geography - "mountains planets and countries are allowed". So I obliged her with Boney M's Night Flight To Venus, Lulu's From Russia With Love and, presuming continents count too, one of my favourite tracks, Radio Africa by Latin Quarter. Moments after sending the text off, I thought of We're Going To Spain by The Krankies (look, the point is to include as many songs as possible, so I wanted ones no-one else would think of!) and To France by Mike Oldfield, so sent her another message. (Can't believe I forgot Girl From Mars by Ash after we've been discussing it on lifein1973!) She replied thanks and asked how I was. As the game was about to kick off, we all went and sat together in the end section of the stand.

My "OK, you?" message to girlafraid1973 got the reply "So-so - the joys of being newly single"... One thing that struck me today was how much more vocal our fans were than at home games! Here, the Hawk support kept up 90 minutes of chanting and, in Simon's case, yelling "Multiball's not allowed" at the match officials - they had spare balls ready to chuck on as soon as a ball went over the perimeter fence, but stopped as soon as they'd gone 1-0 up! Lewes manager Steve King copped a lot of stick for persistently roaming out of his technical area - Malc and Aly started "Get back in your kennel, get back in your kennel" and were well impressed when I continued it "la la la la, WOOF! la la la la, WOOF!" We gave that one a few more airings. When Rocky Baptiste equalised we all erupted into "We've got Jairzinho, we've got Jairzinho!" Lewes sub Craig O'Connor, who'd signed for Hawks then stayed for about a month before buggering off, citing family reasons, got plenty of stick while warming up in front of us but took it in good nature - Malc and Simon shook hands with him after the final whistle. It ended 1-1, most of us were happy enough with that as this was expected to be a tough game, although it meant we dropped to fourth in the table. Simon and Malc actually said they'd rather we came fourth than third as they'd prefer us to play our play-off first leg at home, get a decent lead then shut up shop away. I didn't mention that I'd rather we played away in the first leg, because if we're at home, the girls' crucial match with Pompey Uni will be switched to a Monday night and I'll have to miss it because of college...

On Lewes station, I glanced curiously at a poster for some TV show or other, shading my eyes to get a better view. This didn't go unnoticed by my fellow travellers - "I think Wilhelmus's seen someone he fancies. The lady on that poster over there." As she was recongnisably Oriental, albeit with blonde hair, Malc said to me "I think it's about Chinese brides."

Stopped in the Railway Bell at Brighton again for a quick pint, watching some of Portsmouth v Man Utd on Sky. When I bought a Spitfire there was one bloke at the bar who looked at my footie shirt to see what team it was, but he had a real attitude problem about non-league and kept taking the piss so I went to stand with my fellow Hawks.

On the train home Les asked us the Quiz Questions from the match programme. The first one was "Why do Angola not fear penalty shoot-outs?" Mark guessed "They have voodoo," but I'd actually seen a copy of the prog in the club bar before the game so I knew the answer was "They've never lost one." Then when he asked which national team has the worst record in penalty shoot-outs, Simon guessed England, but I knew the answer. "My team - Holland."

"Your team?" Mark asked me incredulously. "Are you Dutch?"

"No, but I support Holland in international football."

"Are you Dutch?" It was like a scratched record.

"No, I just support them."

"You must be a fucking loon."

On the last leg of my journey, Havant to Portsmouth, I heard from two women that Portsmouth had just scored a second, then heard one of them get a text message to tell her Man U had pulled one back in injury time. They confirmed that the final whistle had gone with the score 2-1. On that train I met husband and wife Pompey fans who'd left a few minutes early so missed all the drama. Next I heard a voice above me say "Better entertainment at the Dripping Pan, eh?" It was another Hawks fan who'd also been to Lewes, and said he used to be a season ticket holder at Pompey but switched to Hawks because he preferred the atmosphere at non-league. He'd considered watching the Pompey game in a pub in Lewes but decided he'd rather get home in time for the Joe Calzaghe fight.

Waiting for the boat at the ferry, I phoned Ann (a Man U hater with a soft spot for Pompey) and asked if she'd heard the score. She said no, she'd been out with Steve on his boat all day and they'd just come off it and got a Chinese. Without telling her the actual result, I said "Watch Match of the Day tonight then, you are in for a treat." She said she wasn't sure how to decide what to watch - the Joe Calzaghe fight, Match of the Day or the US Masters...