Sunday night morbs

Feb. 15th, 2026 10:00 pm
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

I had a pretty dispiriting conversation with my parents this evening.

Whenever I think "wow I'm shit at speaking up when I should," I hope I remember how far I've come.

My mom won't argue with the people in her life who persist in Trump support despite living in Minnesota in 2026. "We just don't talk about politics," I remember hearing this when I was growing up (once or twice; one didn't even need to talk about not talking about politics very often), and it seems so nonsensical as well as enraging these days.

And when she told me about a parent being ableist toward his young son, after said child's disability had been explicitly compared to mine... She was talking to the parents and made that connection herself, saying that how they described his sight reminded her of me, which got the mom to ask if I'd ever "had to" use braille. At this point I was wincing a little, she made it sound like an emergency plan I didn't have to resort to (when actually I taught myself (by sight, not touch) Grade 1 braille when I was 11 because I so desperately wanted to learn it), but whatever. Mom replied, accurately, that I did not learn braille. The kid's mom said that she'd asked because they as his parents had been told braille might be relevant to their child, and I guess here the kid's dad interrupted their conversation to say "absolutely not, he will never do that."

I was so upset. I shouted "that's horrible!"

Mom was upset...with my outburst. "I'm only telling you what he said," she told me, clearly not interested when I tried to explain why I thought this is horrible.

I've been having a bad-brain time anyway, but the idea that there are people out there who insist that their visually impaired kid will never learn braille is bad enough... and it stings to see that my mom isn't even interested in advocating otherwise even when she had been explicitly treated like an expert by the kid's mom by drawing this parallel between my condition and his.

My mom isn't really much of an expert on my condition -- she told me that people in her church prayed for me to stop being blind when I was a baby and I'm a miracle; Wikipedia tells me it's normal for people born with my condition to acquire some sight by the time we're five years old. And her own ableism was baked into the conversation: she's intensely uncomfortable with wheelchair users unless they are expected to "walk again some day" and she was just so paternalistic about the kid that even modeling better reactions (which is usually all I can do when my parents are like this) didn't feel good enough for me.

It just felt like the last straw: a difficult weekend, I accidentally broke the fastening on my current-favorite glasses chain while I was trying to clean glasses that always seem to be dirty lately, I have realized only tonight that all my train journeys this coming week will be even more complicated because Manchester Piccadilly is effectively closed... D kindly tried to fix a problem with my phone not sending e-mail only for it to confound him, leaving him frustrated and confused.

And now it's past my bedtime? I somehow have to go to sleep when I'm so dejected? Bah.

Henchqueer

Feb. 14th, 2026 09:24 pm
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

I hung out with a guy from Ecuador today, and we talked about what immigrants always talk about: how much we miss the food we can't get here. (His wife is originally from Venezuela -- they both grew up in Spain before ending up in England -- and our extensive talk about food made me miss the Venezuelan who made arepas, but I think that place didn't survive lockdowns. Apparently there's no Ecuadoran food here; the closest thing he could console himself with is a Colombian place in Liverpool.)

When someone from queer club who has chronic pain and fatigue asked for help with the heavy lifting of moving house, of course I volunteered. This was the man-with-a-van that he hired.

It's funny, when Matt told me to text Dennis I expected that Dennis would be an old gammony bigot, but instead I got Denis, an adorable wife guy, a decade younger than me, helping people move house as a side hustle.

Denis called me Matt at first, which didn't bother me -- Matt's the person he's mostly been dealing with! -- but he could not have been more apologetic. And then apparently he called me Kevin for a while, which did make me laugh (I didn't even know this until he apologized for it!). I did try to assure Denis that all these white guy names are the same but he was adamant.

I don't know Matt well, except that he's a single-in-the-sense-of-not-cohabiting person who's 30 or 40 years old. I expected a room full of stuff. This guy had an amount of books I'd expect from boomers who haven't had to move to a new house in fifty years. And the heaviest bookcases, I think Matt said they were made of old scaffolding or something? And because the bookcases had to go in the van first, they had to come out last, and thus be taken upstairs when I was already wiped out.

We collected stuff from his storage unit and brought it to his house first, then went to his previous house to get stuff from there and there was so much we didn't think we could fit it all in the van and that we'd have to come back to make a second trip. We really really didn't want to do that, though, and managed to avoid it by packing the van so full that Denis's hand truck had to come with us in the front -- I sat in the middle, and it got shotgun. But we were so pleased with ourselves for not having to go back, and it's a damn good thing. I could barely walk the 20ish minutes home by the time we finished -- and when I got there, it took me most of an hour to eat and shower even though I very much wanted to do both of those things!

As we were dragging the bookcases up the stairs, Denis could not stop talking about how strong I was, he was shocked when I told him (not quite in so many words) that I have a bullshit email job, he absolutely thought I was a fellow manual laborer. "How did you get so good at this?" he said. I didn't know how to tell him it's a combination of my dad instilling his (manual laborer) work ethic, and transgym making me hench.

I was not looking forward to having to go help V's relative get stuff from his mum's house to the tip again tomorrow, but it sounds like we almost certainly won't be needed! He got extra done this week and extra help today, which is wonderful for him and well-timed for me. Apparently the last bit, a friend of his with a van, might fall through tomorrow so we're on standby but that slight possibility feels a lot better than the absolute certainty!

Now I'm off to take some more ibuprofen and sleep forever.

The next week

Feb. 13th, 2026 09:09 pm
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

I'm going to Huddersfield for work on Monday, Wrexham on Wednesday, and at the very end of today I had a call where I ended up agreeing to go to "somewhere near Walsall" on Friday next week (I'm still awaiting the promised email with more specific details than that!).

(For non-locals, these are all 2ish hours away, or less, but one of these in a week would usually be a big deal and leave me really tired the next day and etc.)

They're all trips I really want to make, all for unrelated things that just happen to have turned up at the same time. I'll be fine. But oof!

Tomorrow I'm helping a fellow Queer Club member move heavy furniture to his new place, while V has an unpleasant hospital appointment testing for something potentially serious. Sunday D and I will once again be doing tip runs for V's relative who's clearing out his mum's house...

Everything is... a bit intense at the moment.

I do have almost all of the next week off work (except for a trip to Chester lol, which I actually really want to do). Really looking forward to that.

The manager type

Feb. 11th, 2026 11:06 pm
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

This morning I got to call one of the candidates we interviewed yesterday and offer her the work placement. That felt nice.

But also weird. I've never done anything like this before! I am in a very technical sense her line manager, in that her actual manager, my manager, is now on leave for the next week and a half and he asked me to take care of this. Which meant not just the fun phone call but doing paperwork, and that meant having to write down my own name and contact details where it said "Manager."

Wild.

The less said about the rest of the work day the better, but the rest of the day was good. I went for a nice long walk in the warm(ish) drizzle with Teddy, who drank from so many muddy puddles that he had a big dirty circle on his snout. Like the dog equivalent of a kid with a milk mustache. The air smelled amazing, the plants and the soil are starting to wake up.

Then [personal profile] angelofthenorth invited us over for cheesy toad in the hole, which is a genius idea and I think I might have to make it in future. It was great to see her, and Mr Smith.

And since we'd all planned to go to the gym, she and I walked there while D drove V home and then came back to join me (Miriam having gone swimming). The gym is so much more fun with him there.

[personal profile] cosmolinguist
  • I helped conduct five interviews this morning (which as my manager who's doing them with me pointed out is always weirdly draining -- there's something about having all these potential futures appear before you, where the decision you make affects people's lives so differently, depending on what you choose...even here when it's only for a ten-week placement like this).

  • I had a really demanding meeting this afternoon that I had not been able to prepare for at all. It went okay but oof. Coulda been better!

  • Then we went to go collect groceries, and V's shoes which have been repaired.

  • Then I had counseling. Today we talked about what we ended up calling different "circles" of my life: work, Minneapolis, local stuff (by-election mostly), household, community care, self-care... Normally when one circle has felt like too much there's been a nicer one I can shift my focus to, but lately it feels like they've all been shitty. It helped to talk about this even if it wasn't anything I don't think about regularly.

  • I walked into my bedroom where I do counseling (it's on the phone) and my first thought was oh yeah, I meant to change the bedding yesterday and then I didn't...I should do that. And it was mostly done by the time she called! And I did the rest right after.

  • And on only the second time I went back upstairs after that I remembered to take the laundry down with me! And the washing machine was free so I chucked it right in. This is all like warp-speed, by my usual standards.

I didn't even have time to walk Teddy today. But we did get fancy takeout (yay, vegetable tempura!) re-scheduled from me fucking up the plan last night, and watched some TV and I managed to stay mostly awake until 9pm. That's good enough.

denise: Image: Me, facing away from camera, on top of the Castel Sant'Angelo in Rome (Default)
[staff profile] denise posting in [site community profile] dw_news
Back in August of 2025, we announced a temporary block on account creation for users under the age of 18 from the state of Tennessee, due to the court in Netchoice's challenge to the law (which we're a part of!) refusing to prevent the law from being enforced while the lawsuit plays out. Today, I am sad to announce that we've had to add South Carolina to that list. When creating an account, you will now be asked if you're a resident of Tennessee or South Carolina. If you are, and your birthdate shows you're under 18, you won't be able to create an account.

We're very sorry to have to do this, and especially on such short notice. The reason for it: on Friday, South Carolina governor Henry McMaster signed the South Carolina Age-Appropriate Design Code Act into law, with an effective date of immediately. The law is so incredibly poorly written it took us several days to even figure out what the hell South Carolina wants us to do and whether or not we're covered by it. We're still not entirely 100% sure about the former, but in regards to the latter, we're pretty sure the fact we use Google Analytics on some site pages (for OS/platform/browser capability analysis) means we will be covered by the law. Thankfully, the law does not mandate a specific form of age verification, unlike many of the other state laws we're fighting, so we're likewise pretty sure that just stopping people under 18 from creating an account will be enough to comply without performing intrusive and privacy-invasive third-party age verification. We think. Maybe. (It's a really, really badly written law. I don't know whether they intended to write it in a way that means officers of the company can potentially be sentenced to jail time for violating it, but that's certainly one possible way to read it.)

Netchoice filed their lawsuit against SC over the law as I was working on making this change and writing this news post -- so recently it's not even showing up in RECAP yet for me to link y'all to! -- but here's the complaint as filed in the lawsuit, Netchoice v Wilson. Please note that I didn't even have to write the declaration yet (although I will be): we are cited in the complaint itself with a link to our August news post as evidence of why these laws burden small websites and create legal uncertainty that causes a chilling effect on speech. \o/

In fact, that's the victory: in December, the judge ruled in favor of Netchoice in Netchoice v Murrill, the lawsuit over Louisiana's age-verification law Act 456, finding (once again) that requiring age verification to access social media is unconstitutional. Judge deGravelles' ruling was not simply a preliminary injunction: this was a final, dispositive ruling stating clearly and unambiguously "Louisiana Revised Statutes §§51:1751–1754 violate the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, as incorporated by the Fourteenth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution", as well as awarding Netchoice their costs and attorney's fees for bringing the lawsuit. We didn't provide a declaration in that one, because Act 456, may it rot in hell, had a total registered user threshold we don't meet. That didn't stop Netchoice's lawyers from pointing out that we were forced to block service to Mississippi and restrict registration in Tennessee (pointing, again, to that news post), and Judge deGravelles found our example so compelling that we are cited twice in his ruling, thus marking the first time we've helped to get one of these laws enjoined or overturned just by existing. I think that's a new career high point for me.

I need to find an afternoon to sit down and write an update for [site community profile] dw_advocacy highlighting everything that's going on (and what stage the lawsuits are in), because folks who know there's Some Shenanigans afoot in their state keep asking us whether we're going to have to put any restrictions on their states. I'll repeat my promise to you all: we will fight every state attempt to impose mandatory age verification and deanonymization on our users as hard as we possibly can, and we will keep actions like this to the clear cases where there's no doubt that we have to take action in order to prevent liability.

In cases like SC, where the law takes immediate effect, or like TN and MS, where the district court declines to issue a temporary injunction or the district court issues a temporary injunction and the appellate court overturns it, we may need to take some steps to limit our potential liability: when that happens, we'll tell you what we're doing as fast as we possibly can. (Sometimes it takes a little while for us to figure out the exact implications of a newly passed law or run the risk assessment on a law that the courts declined to enjoin. Netchoice's lawyers are excellent, but they're Netchoice's lawyers, not ours: we have to figure out our obligations ourselves. I am so very thankful that even though we are poor in money, we are very rich in friends, and we have a wide range of people we can go to for help.)

In cases where Netchoice filed the lawsuit before the law's effective date, there's a pending motion for a preliminary injunction, the court hasn't ruled on the motion yet, and we're specifically named in the motion for preliminary injunction as a Netchoice member the law would apply to, we generally evaluate that the risk is low enough we can wait and see what the judge decides. (Right now, for instance, that's Netchoice v Jones, formerly Netchoice v Miyares, mentioned in our December news post: the judge has not yet ruled on the motion for preliminary injunction.) If the judge grants the injunction, we won't need to do anything, because the state will be prevented from enforcing the law. If the judge doesn't grant the injunction, we'll figure out what we need to do then, and we'll let you know as soon as we know.

I know it's frustrating for people to not know what's going to happen! Believe me, it's just as frustrating for us: you would not believe how much of my time is taken up by tracking all of this. I keep trying to find time to update [site community profile] dw_advocacy so people know the status of all the various lawsuits (and what actions we've taken in response), but every time I think I might have a second, something else happens like this SC law and I have to scramble to figure out what we need to do. We will continue to update [site community profile] dw_news whenever we do have to take an action that restricts any of our users, though, as soon as something happens that may make us have to take an action, and we will give you as much warning as we possibly can. It is absolutely ridiculous that we still have to have this fight, but we're going to keep fighting it for as long as we have to and as hard as we need to.

I look forward to the day we can lift the restrictions on Mississippi, Tennessee, and now South Carolina, and I apologize again to our users (and to the people who temporarily aren't able to become our users) from those states.

Strugglebus

Feb. 9th, 2026 11:25 pm
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

My alarm went off two hours earlier than usual today. I'd had the kind of bad sleep you do when you know you'll need to get up early: it took me longer to fall asleep in the first place and I woke up repeatedly, convinced at one point that I'd definitely slept too late until I looked at the clock and saw it was 4:30am.

I was starting work early so I could be interviewed for BBC Radio Leeds. It went really well, thanks I think to a journalist I'd spoken to a couple weeks ago. I had a really nice conversation. And then a quiet morning with a big cup of coffee while I gently got myself up to dealing with meetings and emails.

My mood and mental state have been low all weekend, and I'm really struggling with sleep again. And eating.

Oddly, in a total inverse of the past...oh, year or more, it seemed like I was feeling least bad during work hours. Walking Teddy now kinda marks the end of my work day, and it's a really nice little ritual that sometimes gives me time to file away the work day and think about what's ahead. But today, I didn't feel the usual relief at finishing work, but more... overwhelmed maybe. Everything feels like so much at the moment: watching the effects I'm seeing around me from ICE, Gaza, the Epstein files, UK politics thanks to the by-election we're living amidst, politics in sports from the Olympics to Bad Bunny...

All my podcasts are being boring and/or not updating, they're all conspiring to make me actually read my book-club book even though i don't wanna -- it's The Day the World Came to Town, about the multiple airliners' worth of passengers that descended on a small Newfoundland town on 9/11 when the U.S. closed its air space. I'm still at the beginning and just stressed out hearing about people in Europe getting on these transatlantic flights, the normal day the air traffic controller thought he was going to have... The book is leaving me both agitated and bored at the same time somehow.

I screwed up a plan to get nice takeout as a treat tonight, I couldn't help do this week's Tesco order as had been the plan for this evening, and I could only sit through half of Sinners, my favorite movie from all of last year, before I had to go lie in the dark. But that was hours ago; I can't sleep.

fun meme from cmcmck

Feb. 8th, 2026 12:09 pm
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

1 what's your favourite kitchen appliance?
I never really thought about ranking them. The kettle is probably my favorite because it gets used the most.

2 do you have a collection of anything?
Random things related to Stitch (from Lilo & Stitch)

3 what's the best job you've ever had?
Probably the one I have now.

4 what's the worst job you've ever had?
Temping for minimum wage in a team that chased people up for overdue loans. I was new to the UK, so my partner and I were ineligible for all benefits, and I had a lot more in common with the people on the other side of these phone calls I could hear all day long as I was becoming The One Who Could Make the Printer Work and learning to like bananas because we had free fruit in the office and I needed the calories.

5 what's your favourite piece of furniture and where did you get it?
The green couch I bought the WonderHouse is pretty good. I can't remember where it came from; V sorted it out online of course.

6 what's your go-to recipe when you want to make something that requires minimal effort?
"Minimal effort" to me is taking something out of the freezer and putting it in the oven, which isn't a recipe. I guess in terms of things that I'd call a recipe that aren't difficult (and really pay off in how delicious it is, there's always the broccoli halloumi thing.

7 are you married or do you intend to get married?
I am not. I wouldn't say I intend to but I didn't intend to the other time either and it ended up being useful for geopolitical reasons so I wouldn't rule that out again in the future.

8 do you have kids? do you want them?
No and...I do not want to have them in terms of from my own body, and I'm fine that my life doesn't seem to have brought me any, but also if it had I think that would've been fine too.

9 are you on good terms with your parents?
...yes? This kinda came up at transgym yesterday: on the spectrum between good parents and shit parents mine are kinda...shit in practice but also... I talk to them every Sunday evening, which a lot of people would consider being pretty close and my parents consider less than the minimum to be happy.

10 do you have siblings? do you hang out with them?
ahahaha I have never found a good answer to this question. Do I have siblings in that I do and he turns up in anecdotes and suchlike? Or do I not in that if I say I do people ask stuff like "do you hang out with him?" and I can never hang out with him.

11 do you vote?
I vote in two countries! I just applied for a postal vote for the upcoming by election, because I can't remember if I'd done that since I got the notifications about it expiring.

12 what's the biggest purchase you've ever made?
Technically the mortgage on my old house but that didn't feel like a purchase. Next up is my Indefinite Leave to Remain which cost me I think I calculated about £7500 -- at the time. Using the Bank of England's inflation calculator, that'd be £12,828.24, and that's not counting that the Home Office has more-than-doubled the costs of those visas and applications since.

13 what are your hobbies?
Listening to podcasts, watching baseball.

14 what's a hobby you'd like to get into?
Hiking.

15 do you collect anything?
Aches, cynicism, grudges... wait, is this a question about knickknacks?

16 how long have you known your oldest friend?
I'm not really in very good touch with anyone I knew before I moved here, so probaby 18 or 19 years (despite being partners and good friends before that, neither D or I can remember what year we actually met but it was either 18 or 19 years ago).

17 are you a member of any clubs or associations?
local Queer Club. I have a gym membership lol. I don't think anything else?

18 have you ever changed fields in your career or education?
I'm a millennial, we don't get fields and careers. Not the disabled ones among us especially.

19 how many wisdom teeth do you have and have you had any removed?
I had them all taken out at 18, I didn't want to, my dentist said I had to, they'd be causing me loads of pain. They never did. I'm still convinced he did it to get money out of my parents.

20 what's your favourite beverage?
Coffee

21 do you have any living grandparents?
I did until a year ago.

22 do you have nieces/nephews/godchildren/other kids in your life that aren't yours?
D's niblings, his sister's two kids. They are great. They're also tweens/young teens now so increasingly absent/mysterious/incomprehensible, but still such good fun when we do get to hang out.

23 what's the coolest place you've visited?
There are so many, and it's hard to compare them. At the moment my first thought is the Atomium in Brussels.

24 what's your most recent degree and has it been useful to you?
BA (Hons) Linguistics. It has been very useful to me: not in an employment sense (beyond the fact that I think having a degree made it easier to get my job), but it has been so helpful to me to be able to approach my life and the world through this lens.

25 would you rather own a dishwasher or a washing machine if you could only have one or the other?
Oh the times in my life when I haven't owned a (working) washing machine have been absolutely miserable. It's much easier to wash dishes by hand than to wash clothes by hand (or go to the laundromat even if there is one closer now than there used to be because it's where my barber was!).

26 do you make a list before going to the grocery store or just wing it?
We mostly shop online. D has a kind of master list that we just tick off what we need each week(ish) when we do the order.

27 what's your favourite household chore?
Mowing the lawn.

28 what chore do you hate the most?
Cleaning things I don't know how to clean/never feel like I get it clean.

29 do you have houseplants and how are you at keeping them alive?
We have so many, I'm so lucky. V looks after them; this is something else I would be shit at noticing in time. But I love living surrounded by them.

30 what's your living arrangement? (who do you live with, in what kind of building, do you own or rent or other?
I live with my boyfriend and his partner, in a suburban semi-detached house that I think was social housing? Sold in the 80s to a builder who...did things to it himself, many of which have consequences we're still living with. Technically the mortgage is D's and I'm a lodger but in practice all three of us contribute to the bills/food/household stuff.

Heads

Feb. 7th, 2026 09:24 pm
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

This afternoon, [personal profile] diffrentcolours and I were watching a documentary about chemistry with Jim Al-Khalili. (D has done sterling work getting the TV to be able to talk to his file server, so it's way easier to watch random things he has downloaded for us...like this BBC documentary about the history of chemistry.)

Suddenly, out of nowhere, D said of Dr. Al-Khalili, "He has a good scientist head."

"He really does!" I replied immediately.

Then I paused.

Then I said "Wait, I don't know what that means, and I don't know why I was so convinced of it."

Maybe it's the baldness?

Bald/shaved heads are so good. This came up at transgym this morning too: I was complaining about how much sweat my hair has absorbed because it's too long now --the last haircut I had was on my birthday! 3-4 weeks is plenty for my hair to need cutting again; the one problem with really short hair is it doesn't stay that way for long. And my barber has suddenly turned into a laundromat -- seriously, it only took a month for it to be open as a completely different kind of business! -- so I need to try a new one and I haven't had time and ugh...maybe tomorrow.

Anyway, as I was complaining, I was overhead by F, a guy with a shaved head, who said "enjoy it while it lasts!" Apparently he's still in his 20s, bless him. But it got me and our friend A talking about how much we like bald guys as an aesthetic, and then D told us about the subreddit for bald people, where guys share photos of them with thinning/receding hair, all sad about it, and then photos of them bald, happy, no longer giving a fuck. I think it's that "the way to win the game of conventional attractiveness is not to play" transformation that makes this seem sexy to me.

(Not that baldness can't be conventionally attractive, but a lot of balding guys seem to think that. Even if they're just having to get used to the change or confronting their mortality or whatever they do, I don't know. But it seems to do them some good to have to come to terms about it, if not embrace it.)

(Plus obviously bald heads are sexy because a nice close shave is fun to touch, and in the right circumstances I think the stubble can feel good too...)

Good day

Feb. 6th, 2026 08:54 pm
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

Today's Teddywalk took us a slightly unusual way -- I let him choose, within reason. He didn't spend as long sniffing the grass triangle as before, and afterward when I wanted to drag him more directly back toward his house he scampered off the other way. This took us to a tree-lined residential street where he decided to poop next to one of the trees just as a man parked his land barge just behind us and the kids that got out of it were entertained by this free show.

This route also took us past a school where, even though it was nearing 5 o'clock, kids were going toward the school, with their grownups. They kinda looked like they were wearing pajamas? Some were in bathrobes or oodies. Some seemed to carry pillows or soft toys. One was almost hidden behind a Stitch that must have been fully half her size. It was adorable.

I had a pretty good day otherwise too.

Work was oddly satisfying.

A bunch of things happened to coincide today: I presented my new train report twice, first to a panel of subject-matter experts and accessibility advocates that I'm on, where people were very kind about it (especially as it was at the end of an hour and a half meeting that some people had to leave early and/or thought was only an hour long; one made sure to apologize for leaving halfway through but told me he'd read the report and it was good, which was very sweet).

Then in the afternoon I presented it to a group of lived-experience campaigners, a group I attended back when I was a volunteer who didn't have this job yet. They did their usual thing of wanting to vent their spleens on any tangentially-related topic, but I'm used to that and I kinda love it. Afterward, my colleague who runs these meetings messaged me to thank me and say she appreciates that I always handle the questions so well. I didn't think I'd done anything special! But despite that (or actually because of it!) this was really nice to hear.

And as well as feeling particularly competent with the different audiences my work is for, I also had a quick one-to-one(ish) with my manager which indirectly addressed the stuff I've been stressing about lately and where seemed much happier than I'm used to hearing with the work that I have done in the last year and the stuff that's coming up this year.

It's funny because the other day, on our way to the theater, D pointed out where transgym yoga had moved to: one of those "not actually far away but hard for me to find/get to on a bus" places. So I actually looked at yoga on the transgym website and not only was it on this Friday (it's every other week), but it was back at its old location! My hips are so much happier now, and it'll be good for my brain too.

And now, after a week that was really truly about a month long, it's the weekend! We have basically no plans, and the fascists aren't even yelling at the hotel this Sunday!

So many good things.

Three good things

Feb. 5th, 2026 10:04 pm
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

On such a nothingburger of a day like this, where I feel like I don't have anything to talk about because it was really normal (awake, work, walk Teddy, make dinner, try to stay awake till bedtime), I am challenging myself to think of three good things.

  1. Having taken off my clothes last night and added them to the unacceptably-large pile of liminal clothes I need to decide to wash or put away, I told myself I'd deal with it all this morning. And I did! With about five minutes before a meeting. Feels good; it was starting to weigh on my mental/emotional state having my room be untidy like this.
  2. We saw neighbor G outside on our way to walk Teddy. We don't see as much of the neighbors now we're not standing in the driveway/on our end of the road with Gary any more; it's one of the things I miss. G is cool. He has started working at the bakery at rhe big Tesco! He said he likes it, though he also said it's very unsociable hours of course.
  3. As I was starting to type this up, having gone to bed early for a Doof night because I feel kinda gross (I didn't get to sleep until well after 3am last night, and I think I was just sleep deprived after powering through work), D unexpectedly came upstairs to "make my back go click," as he says. It feels so much better when he's pressed some of the tension out of my muscles and spine, mmm. He's so nice.
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

[personal profile] diffrentcolours has been on a mission to find more fun/novel things to do: it's kinda been the upshot of both our therapy lately that we should do this.

So tonight we went to see a Noel Coward play, Private Lives, at Hope Mill Theatre which was new to me. It was a great venue, though I'm glad I didn't have to try to find it on my own because that never would've worked.

And the play was great too: very cleverly staged, with occasional video projection and really good use of (mostly diagetic) music, well-acted, and the darkest the-straights-are-not-okay underbelly beneath that Noel Coward wit: it was sweet and even sexy but also made me think about what we do or don't learn from relationships that have ended. The seats weren't wide enough for our hench shoulders, but that just meant we had to snuggle up and that was such a nice way to watch it.

The theater's independent, gets no external funding, so definitely worth supporting if you get the chance. I was glad to see it pretty busy on this random weekday evening.

mark: A photo of Mark kneeling on top of the Taal Volcano in the Philippines. It was a long hike. (Default)
[staff profile] mark posting in [site community profile] dw_maintenance

Hi all!

I'm doing some minor operational work tonight. It should be transparent, but there's always a chance that something goes wrong. The main thing I'm touching is testing a replacement for Apache2 (our web server software) in one area of the site.

Thank you!

[personal profile] cosmolinguist

Counseling today was all about trying to make my body feel safer amidst all the mental/emotional stuff going on.

My counselor said some bodies need stillness some bodies need movement. I think mine is the latter.

She also suggested

  • getting people to spend time with me
  • gentle conversations about not-stressful things
  • familiar media
  • nice sensory stuff? (scents/textures)

Thinking about this tonight, she suggested I try to remember it all week.

Weekend

Feb. 2nd, 2026 08:49 pm
[personal profile] cosmolinguist

Work team check-in this morning, I dreaded getting asked "How was your weekend, Erik?" My actual weekend: onboarding for new antifascist activities and returning to old ones, across two continents. My answer: "Oh you know, quiet."

I'm not doing anything scary or glamorous btw: mostly I'm in a bunch of Signal chats and standing around having cool conversations with strangers. There really is stuff for everyone to do.

(Including the people who are looking after people like me. I had a bad brain day yesterday and then listened to my parents for an hour and this time it was 100% [cw: MN, ICE, etc.] Details I'd managed to avoid myself, my mom just splurged all over me. My mom was late getting in touch with me because she'd been on the phone to her most annoying sister for the previous hour and, except for this bare fact, didn't even mention it. Normally I'd expect several solid minutes about how bad that was! So I went to bed feeling really down and the people and things that help lift me up are part of the fight too.)

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