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Another evening, another civic function. This one was a 'Supper Night' in aid of a local cancer charity, with the food cooked by family friend Alec who's a major supporter of theirs.

We literally had to sing for our supper! The evening began with a performance of old-time music hall songs from The St Vincent Singers. Their MC and pianist was my old music teacher - she was well spooked to see me again after 19 years! On every table were some song sheets, and we all had to sing along with medleys of songs at the beginning, middle and end of the hour-long set. During the second song, 'You Must Have Been A Beautiful Baby', one of the old ladies in the choir broke ranks and beatled over to our table, where she proceeded to sing the song to me while flirtatiously touching me. In between community sing-alongs, the Singers gave us solos of numbers like Burlington Bertie, plus several group renditions.

By the time our last community medley was over, we were all about ready for some nosh. Our table were called up first. The food was modest - cottage pie or fish pie, with peas and beans; I went for the cottage pie - but quite tasty. Of the three desserts available, I went for a chocolate mousse with strawberries and chocolate cereal balls on it, with cream - very nice, and there was enough for anyone who wanted to have seconds. You can bet I did.

The night ended with the raffle. For about the third or fourth prize, one of me ma's tickets came up, but she gets embarrassed about winning raffle prizes when she's there in her Mayoral capacity, so she told me to go up and claim a prize. Amid shouts of 'fix' (though not as loud as the ones when two of the charity's trustees both later won prizes), I chose a box of crystallised gingers.

"You can have that," my mother moaned, "I don't like ginger. Why couldn't you pick the jelly babies?" I'll put it on the nibbles table on Thursday.

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The Man Who Loves Laura Bassett

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