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At a shop (which I won't name, as I don't wish to get the person involved into trouble) I took a copy of The News and a jiffy envelope to the counter to pay for them, but the shop assistant didn't know how much the jiffy envelope cost. I didn't know either (the price hadn't been marked) so the assistant just hid the jiffy inside The News and only charged me for the paper!

"Are you sure?"

"Don't worry about it." Wink. I handed over a £10 note and was given change for the cost of just the paper.

Minutes later, though, my luck did a 180 degree turn. I went on to the post office to post the package I was using the jiffy for. 44p. I dipped into my pocket for a handful of coins, handed the lady 50p, took the change and thought no more of it.

Walked down to Waitrose, picked out a six-pack of McCoy's Pub Crisps and 10 cans of Coke Zero to take to Jade's tomorrow night and got to the checkout - to find that I had just my £4-odd of coinage in my pocket. The £5 note had gone. I had my Switch card on me so was able to go through with my purchases, but frenetically examined my rain jacket and both my trouser pockets, all in vain. That fiver had apparently disappeared into thin air.

Before long, I deduced that the fiver must have flown out of my pocket when I took the coins out in the Post Office. I couldn't be arsed to trek all the way back there on the offchance that the fiver was still lying around or had been handed in, so wrote it off and headed for the chippy :(

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The Man Who Loves Laura Bassett

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