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I'd had an early night, but felt like a zombie yesterday.

It was Winchester's Civic Day - my favourite so far. There was none of this setting off first thing in the morning nonsense, our pick-up was at 11.30 for a nice, civilised lunchtime start to the proceedings. It also helped that I love our hostess Sue, the Mayor of Winchester :) When we arrived in the car park at Arlesford station, a young lady from the Winchester town hall staff was walking around with a clipboard looking a little stressed, trying to tick people off on the guest list. I was able to tell her everyone who'd arrived, drawing the reply "You're an essential man to have around," then later as more guests arrived I kept running over to her to update her. She called me a star.

We were beginning with a ride along the Watercress Line, which I'd visited as a junior school boy in 1980; Sue said it's changed a lot since then! It's an old-style railway with preserved 1950s trains running through 10 miles of picturesque Hampshire countryside. The stations have been laid out to look exactly as they would have in the 50s, green painted signs and all. As I've said before, I love all that retro stuff. We travelled in a first-class Pullman carriage and were served lunch en route, lovely roast lamb followed by very tasty cheesecake. My mother and I sat with Tony from Basingstoke, who told us tales of when he played Sunday league football in the area (he was a hard-man full-back) and Pat, the county council vice-chairman - she was quite a character.

Back at Arlesford after the return trip, my mother and others took several photos around the station and the car park. I managed to get my photo taken with Sue a couple of times. As we milled around the car park, I said hello to a few people I hadn't got to talk to yet, including Charles from the Isle of Wight. He's still going on about how I "crushed" him by singing Agnieszka that Kasia Kowalska song!! Jim and Maria invited us to their Christmas charity big band concert - I made a mental note of the date.

It had started to rain by now, and we were scheduled to walk to our next destination; a couple of people talked about getting our chauffeurs to drive us there, and Jim reckoned Maria wouldn't want to walk it in her high heels, but Sue provided umbrellas for those of us who hadn't brought them and we all walked it in the end. As we strolled through Arlesford town centre, Maria told me we would be arriving at the venue, a private house, by the back entrance. "Mayors being made to use the tradesman's entrance. Shocking!" she said.

The back entrance was a barely noticeable wooden door, in a brick wall beside a quiet country road. We had to walk through a few trees, then over a little wooden bridge across the infant river Arle, finally arriving at a roofed patio set out with garden tables and chairs. Sue introduced the couple who owned the house, who were one of her Winchester Council colleagues and his wife. After a quick hello we were all set free to wander around the grounds and gardens until 3.40, when we were to re-assemble for tea and cakes. The hostess said to treat the place like home, and feel free to help ourselves to a raspberry from the bushes. (They were delicious.) They had some enormous pumpkins! Roaming around, I bumped into John from Southampton who reflected on our hostess' words about treating the place as our own; he reckoned she wouldn't be too impressed if he tried to cart one of their giant pumpkins off with him...

Over tea and cakes, Sue's staff presented us with two bottles of wine from the Wickham vineyard, and some hair care products courtesy of her friend Guy (couturier to the stars). We said our goodbyes and made our way to where all the chauffeurs were waiting - in a field full of chickens. We watched with amusement as the Isle of Wight chauffeur stopped and waited on his way out to avoid running over a rooster.

Back home, we got our things together and got out of the Mayoral car. I went to retrieve the wine from the boot, picked the box up side-on - then next thing I heard was a crash. I looked back to see one of the bottles smashed on the road. I hadn't known that the top of the box wasn't solid, but a flap that flew open... I could have done without my mother's exclamation of "What have you done?", with the implication that I'm always to blame for everything. So then we had to sweep all the glass off the road, then my mother went indoors to do my father's dinner. With having felt a bit lethargic all day, and now the wine incident, I was now in a foul mood, so slipped quietly upstairs to listen to some music.

It wasn't long before we were on the road again, as John the chauffeur and his wife Glynis had invited us to the final of Southsea's Search for a Star. He'd been to the heats and semis, and all through the drive there, he told us that 'Faces of Disco' were a certainty to win and drag queen 'Miss G' was a shoo-in for second spot. When we arrived at the venue John got a round of drinks in. Still light-headed, I asked for a coke, but he insisted I had to have alcohol so I went for a Bulmer's. He promptly came back with two bottles, plus double drinks for everyone else (to save us having to get up and queue during the show). As John had bought the drinks, my mother (over his protests) insisted on buying the food. John had told us the venue's chips were superb - they were, and the hot dog was rather tasty too.

The warm-up act, a male/female duo, were quite entertaining - in between songs they told us the story of how they'd begun dating while performing together and were now going to get married. Then it was on with the contest.

It was unfortunate that Miss G and Faces of Disco were the only acts John liked and were on first and second, as after they'd been on we then had to put up with him being Victor Meldrew for all the rest of the show. Miss G was a good performer but I didn't find 'her' material that funny, but Faces of Disco were very good, singing 70s disco songs and all the while doing rapid changes of comedy costume (including donning masks of the Queen and Prince Charles to flash their shorts and sing YMCA!)

During the interval John delivered me two more bottles of Bulmer's.

My favourite was a sweet young lady from the Isle of Wight called Stacey-Ann, with a fine singing voice. At the end of her set I roared and gave her a generous round of applause, then noticed my mother laughing embarrassedly. It turned out that my roar of approval to Stacey-Ann had caused John, whom I wasn't facing, to glare corrosively... Even my mother asked whether I was impressed with the girl's singing performance or her looks. Cheek. I also liked the next act, a mixed vocal trio called Tux who performed a medley of Motown and 70s dance classics.

When I clapped at the end of an unremarkable singer's set, John said I shouldn't be so generous and ought to boo the bad ones. I said I clap all the acts as they've got the balls to get up on the stage and perform; he conceded that I had a point. When the last act finished it was 11.20 - Glynis was staying to hear the result in half an hour's time, but she had a friend who was able to give her a lift, so my mother and John agreed we'd go home. That was fine by me as I was swaying under the influence of the ciders...

Feeling a bit crook this morning.

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The Man Who Loves Laura Bassett

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