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To Maria's in Fareham with Vanessa for a barbecue. The weather was foul enough to keep us indoors the whole time, so we passed the afternoon singing along to tracks on Virgin TV's Karaoke channel. The old 'uns were appalled at the sexy lyrics of some of today's hits, while both Ness and Maria were deeply disappointed that a character called 'the Abba Man' was no longer available for view! Maria's young daughter, a Lady Gaga fan, led us in Poker Face and I gave it laldy on First Cut is the Deepest. Vanessa's overall verdict was "We sound like a crowd of football supporters! Simon Cowell would say..."

"It's a no," I finished, Keith adding "And a no from me."

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The Man Who Loves Laura Bassett

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