(no subject)

Fucking twatting arsechugnuts.

I got up at 5 am to travel to Weymouth, where, I'd been reliably informed, the Hawk girls would be participating in the FA Umbro Fives. The ground is a fair taxi ride away from the station, so in total I spent over £25 on fares. Then when Trevor arrived at the stadium with the Academy boys around 11, his first words to me were "Didn't anybody tell you?"

"What?"

Trev reeled, looking like he could have cursed, and imparted the news that the girls weren't coming, because they were one of only two teams to enter so go through to the next round without kicking a ball. He then had to go off and register the Academy boys - "so at least you've got a Hawks team to support". A bit later he came into the bar when I was the only other person there and said "I hope you're not too miffed." I told him straight that I was pretty fed up that I'd got up at 5 and splashed £25 on a pointless journey, but he didn't seem bothered. All he said was that it was Rob's fault, as he'd asked Rob to "ring everybody". He did offer to sort me out a lift home, but I said I'd be leaving early to make sure of getting back for watching the Eurovision with a friend.

I watched the Academy boys' group games, all of which they won, then, despite Trev urging me to stay for the knock-out - "you'll only miss the Luxembourg entry" - took a taxi back to the station and indulged in a large Mocha coffee for the tortuous ride home, changing at Southampton.

(no subject)

Just got back from watching Eurovision at Ann's. She drove over to pick me up at 7.15 and we called at the Broadway Fryer for fish and chips on the way to hers. I went for huss and chips, plus onion rings as Ann and Steve were both having side orders with theirs. They certainly do big portions - even now I'm absolutely stuffed.

The Portuguese entry went down well with both Ann and me. I also loved the Icelandic song (admittedly the lovely young lady singing it might have helped) but Ann felt it was too perfect. She reckoned that Eurovision was all about bad pop, not professional songwriters, which was why she had a problem with Andrew Lloyd Webber doing our entry and Ronan Keating writing Denmark's. Next up was Greece, which was much more to Ann's liking - "That to me is Eurovision! A good looking bloke, girlie dancers, bad pop, jumping around - and a giant stapler." Just for that moment, she was planning to vote for Greece - then, very next song, the two sisters from Armenia stole her heart. She is fickle.

Graham Norton was right about the Danish entry - not only did Ronan write it, but the performer was doing a Stars In Their Eyes imitation of him! But Ann and I agreed that, overlooking that, it was a pretty decent pop song. During the Turkish song Steve said "Bad." Ann agreed "Bad" and added that the Turks send the same song every year, just with a different belly dancer.

Ann and I charged our glasses to drink the good luck toast when Jade was introduced. Ann hadn't heard the song before, and she'd said she didn't generally like Lloyd Webber songs, but Jade's magnificent performance won her over. Ann's verdict on the Finnish singer was "He's trying to be Eminem, and failing badly."

When we'd phoned in our votes and compiled our top tens I rang Rob to compare notes. I read out my own marks first - I gave Portugal 10 and Jade 12; Ann interjected "I'm very cross with you, you didn't give Malta anything" - then I relayed Rob's and Sue's marks to Ann and Steve. I had to ask him to repeat a few, as Steve exclaimed "Finland?" or "Turkey?" in disbelief when an entry he thought was really bad got marks. Rob and Sue both gave 12 to Portugal and 10 to Jade. I handed the phone to Ann; she read her marks out, finishing with 10 for Jade and "because, after three tries, she deserves to win - Malta, 12 points." She and Rob chatted for a while, and Ann said "If we end up in the bottom half, then next year I will drink a whole bottle of red before the contest starts."

When Jade was sitting second early on in the voting, Ann briefly wondered out loud whether we'd be going to Birmingham again next May (she and I attended the 1998 contest there) but one jury, and another 12 for Norway, later it was clear that it was going to be a one horse race. We cheered whenever Jade got points and groaned whenever any of our rivals for places two to five scored. Ann and Steve were completely mystified when Turkey held third place for a long time. Steve applauded some rare German points, saying he was the only one to appreciate the quality of the German song; Ann wondered whether Dita von Teese's sexy dance had something to do with it. When the Scandinavians and ex-Yugoslavs gave high points to some countries outside their traditional blocs, Ann smiled "They're playing nicely this year!" There were brief moans of disappointment when we slid from fourth to fifth at the very end, but on the whole we were happy with Jade's showing after years of underachievement.

Well done, girl - may this be the start of a long successful career.