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Nov. 12th, 2006 10:00 amWe were guests of honour at the Bowls Club's Annual Dinner last night. Den, the President, was in bed with flu so we were looked after by Terry, the Senior Vice-President, who kept me supplied with London Pride all evening. Top bloke. Hazel, whose term as Ladies' President ended last month, remembered us from our visit to the club in September, and made a great fuss of us.
The food was the best I'd had on any civic function yet; when Jocelyn, the new Lady President, sitting next to me, asked how my meal had been I told her that. Starter was a tasty fan of melon with a two fruit coulis, then main course, escalope of chicken in gravy, was absolutely perfect. With the steady flow of red wine throughout the meal, plus the stream of London Prides supplied me by Terry, I was decidedly tiddly by the coffee and mints. Hazel served our coffee and mints - she said she was "Mum" and when she got to me, she called me her "second son". Jocelyn didn't want her chocolate mint, and there was a spare one because of Den's absence, so both extra ones got offered to me :)
When my mother was called to do her short speech she focused mostly on the nice day we'd had at their club in September, and congratulating them on the array of silver trophies on the table awaiting presentation, but she dropped in that I'd declared the dinner to be my best one at a civic function yet. Then she was called up to present all the winners with their trophies, one by one, and we applauded each one as they were photographed receiving them.
The formal part of the evening over, the cabaret arrived on stage - a husband and wife duo, him playing guitar and singing, her just singing, called "Me & The Missus". They played a range of pop and light country standards from the 60s and early 70s. They were brilliant, she had a great voice and they had some nice on-stage banter and chemistry. A few people hit the dancefloor early on. Being possessed of two left feet, and in any case preferring to keep my arse firmly in my seat and enjoy the music, I'd firmly intended to do just that, but Hazel asked me to dance during the third song, 'Crazy'. We made a half decent go of it, though I stepped lightly on her foot once when I moved forward but she hadn't been expecting it so didn't step back :( She said 'thank you' to me and returned to her seat at the end. I followed her and returned to my London Pride.
The music was interrupted for the raffle draw. There was a lovely shedload of prizes: I asked my mother to pick the tin of Quality Street if she won, she said she'd think about it but had fancied picking something she could use as a prize in her Mayor's Charity raffle. I quipped that was taking her commitment to recycling (she's an environmentalist) too far. Terry asked my mother to draw the second winning ticket, and she promptly picked out one of her own numbers. Terry quipped that she can't ever have been so embarrassed; by then me ma was indeed covering her face with her hands. She went to the prize table, announced "My son's got his eye on the sweets" and picked the tin of Mingles. We agreed we'd put them in the cupboard for Christmas; she said she hadn't gone for the Quality Street because "there's too many toffees, not good for fillings".
As the draw went on, I doggedly looked at my tickets every time one was pulled, visualising it being one of my numbers - I really fancied the luxury Christmas pudding, which was the very last prize to be claimed so was on the table tantalising me the whole time - but the power of positive thinking failed to deliver.
Me & The Missus resumed their set. I did take to the floor, for a solo groove, twice more; once for Waterloo - I guess as a Eurovision fan I couldn't resist that - and once when they struck up Is This The Way To Amarillo, when I just did the Peter Kay walk round the dancefloor. The climax of their set was Hi Ho Silver Lining. Naturally I sang it as "Hi Ho Havant & 'Ville", drawing a smile from one of the ladies dancing near me. After what would have been the end of the song, Me & The Missus kept playing the tune, and exhorted people to come up on the floor for a men v women loud singing competition. We went through three choruses each, I shouted myself hoarse, and the contest was declared a draw.
I bought Me & The Missus' CD then we said our goodbyes, Hazel giving us hugs and urging us to come along to the club any time we fancy paying a visit next summer, then home for the ITV2 repeat of X Factor. During the results show, one of the ad breaks brought the delightful sight of Kate Lawler in a school uniform, advertising her new show Playdate in seductive tones *<3*
Strange feeling in my ears this morning, a bit like you get on an aeroplane, except swallowing doesn't make any difference. Hangover?
The food was the best I'd had on any civic function yet; when Jocelyn, the new Lady President, sitting next to me, asked how my meal had been I told her that. Starter was a tasty fan of melon with a two fruit coulis, then main course, escalope of chicken in gravy, was absolutely perfect. With the steady flow of red wine throughout the meal, plus the stream of London Prides supplied me by Terry, I was decidedly tiddly by the coffee and mints. Hazel served our coffee and mints - she said she was "Mum" and when she got to me, she called me her "second son". Jocelyn didn't want her chocolate mint, and there was a spare one because of Den's absence, so both extra ones got offered to me :)
When my mother was called to do her short speech she focused mostly on the nice day we'd had at their club in September, and congratulating them on the array of silver trophies on the table awaiting presentation, but she dropped in that I'd declared the dinner to be my best one at a civic function yet. Then she was called up to present all the winners with their trophies, one by one, and we applauded each one as they were photographed receiving them.
The formal part of the evening over, the cabaret arrived on stage - a husband and wife duo, him playing guitar and singing, her just singing, called "Me & The Missus". They played a range of pop and light country standards from the 60s and early 70s. They were brilliant, she had a great voice and they had some nice on-stage banter and chemistry. A few people hit the dancefloor early on. Being possessed of two left feet, and in any case preferring to keep my arse firmly in my seat and enjoy the music, I'd firmly intended to do just that, but Hazel asked me to dance during the third song, 'Crazy'. We made a half decent go of it, though I stepped lightly on her foot once when I moved forward but she hadn't been expecting it so didn't step back :( She said 'thank you' to me and returned to her seat at the end. I followed her and returned to my London Pride.
The music was interrupted for the raffle draw. There was a lovely shedload of prizes: I asked my mother to pick the tin of Quality Street if she won, she said she'd think about it but had fancied picking something she could use as a prize in her Mayor's Charity raffle. I quipped that was taking her commitment to recycling (she's an environmentalist) too far. Terry asked my mother to draw the second winning ticket, and she promptly picked out one of her own numbers. Terry quipped that she can't ever have been so embarrassed; by then me ma was indeed covering her face with her hands. She went to the prize table, announced "My son's got his eye on the sweets" and picked the tin of Mingles. We agreed we'd put them in the cupboard for Christmas; she said she hadn't gone for the Quality Street because "there's too many toffees, not good for fillings".
As the draw went on, I doggedly looked at my tickets every time one was pulled, visualising it being one of my numbers - I really fancied the luxury Christmas pudding, which was the very last prize to be claimed so was on the table tantalising me the whole time - but the power of positive thinking failed to deliver.
Me & The Missus resumed their set. I did take to the floor, for a solo groove, twice more; once for Waterloo - I guess as a Eurovision fan I couldn't resist that - and once when they struck up Is This The Way To Amarillo, when I just did the Peter Kay walk round the dancefloor. The climax of their set was Hi Ho Silver Lining. Naturally I sang it as "Hi Ho Havant & 'Ville", drawing a smile from one of the ladies dancing near me. After what would have been the end of the song, Me & The Missus kept playing the tune, and exhorted people to come up on the floor for a men v women loud singing competition. We went through three choruses each, I shouted myself hoarse, and the contest was declared a draw.
I bought Me & The Missus' CD then we said our goodbyes, Hazel giving us hugs and urging us to come along to the club any time we fancy paying a visit next summer, then home for the ITV2 repeat of X Factor. During the results show, one of the ad breaks brought the delightful sight of Kate Lawler in a school uniform, advertising her new show Playdate in seductive tones *<3*
Strange feeling in my ears this morning, a bit like you get on an aeroplane, except swallowing doesn't make any difference. Hangover?
