Oct. 5th, 2006

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A mayoral double bill today. This morning we were invited on board HMS Warrior 1860, a Victorian warship in Portsmouth dockyard restored to exactly the way it was in those days, now a tourist attraction. We were joined by Fred and Annette the Lord Mayor and Lady Mayoress of Portsmouth, and Pearson, the Civic Ambassador for Newham in East London, and his wife Anna (as the Warrior was built in Newham).

After introductory coffee and biscuits, a young man in a sailor suit called Andrew took us all for a guided tour of the ship. He told us all about Navy life in the 1860s and how, contrary to popular belief, sailors then lived a lot more comfortably than most civilian working-class men. While there was press-ganging, the gangs only took men of seafaring habit - the image of an ordinary bloke who'd never been near a boat having a shilling dropped in his beer and waking up on board ship is a myth. The whole ship really has been done out magnificently. There were plenty of very steep ladders - holding on to the two hand ropes was essential! I have to admit my favourite part was the gun deck, where Andrew told us all about how the guns would be crewed and loaded, how all the different types of ammunition worked and what damage they could inflict on the enemy (and on your own crew if they were mishandled - "You always carried your gunpowder in a closed leather pouch. This is because on the gun deck, there's always a lot of smoke and sparks. If a spark gets into your gunpowder, at best you're going to lose your arm, at worst there'll be a black greasy smear on the deck where you used to be.") At dinner Lynne (wife of the Vice-Chairman of the Dockyard Heritage Foundation), who was sat next to me, said she hadn't found that bit interesting at all. As she said, maybe it's a man thing.

Lunch in the Captain's cabin was superb, consisting of feta cheese salad, delicious roast lamb and a strawberry meringue dessert. At the end Ken, the Warrior's 'Captain', made a brief speech thanking us for coming, then turned to Pearson and said "We want tickets for the 2012 Olympics!" as Newham is hosting most of the events. I couldn't resist mentioning that I'd registered as a supporter of the bid two years ago so would be among the first to get the chance to buy them. We had a group photo (eventually, after the lady member of staff taking it finally got the flash on her camera to go), then, to finish, we six civic dignitaries were shut in one of the ship's prison cells. It was a tiny room, pitch dark, with no porthole and just a bare floor and a little step in the wall. "See you in two days," said Ken's wife Chris as she locked the door, but they only kept us there a minute :)

In the evening we went to see the Gosport Amateur Operatic Society Juniors' performance of 'Calamity Jane' in Crofton. John and Pam the Mayor and Mayoress of Fareham were there too. There was the odd problem with some of the cast's microphones cutting out now and again, but you couldn't fault the cast, the show was lots of fun and Georgia James, as Calamity Jane, put everything into the role and totally owned the stage.

At the interval Gillian, the front of house manager, brought the four of us cups of coffee (or tea for me ma), butterfly cakes and malted milk biscuits. Hilary, the chairman of the society, came over for a chat, and told us she'd be in the senior section's production of Carousel next month as the Heavenly Friend. I asked if she was the one who sings You'll Never Walk Alone and she said "No, I got out of that." John, the president, chipped in "You said 'Thank goodness' about that earlier." Hilary confessed that she hates You'll Never Walk Alone, and my mother said "Oh, we can have a good sing-along to that." Hilary replied "As long as you bring your Pompey scarves," miming waving a football scarf above her head. I told her I'm a Havant & Waterlooville fan and she said "Just as long as you don't support Southampton." John the Mayor of Fareham muttered "Oh dear" and fell quiet (when Hilary had gone, he admitted to me that he's a Saints supporter).

After the show ended came the raffle draw. After a few prizes had gone, John the Fareham mayor won one, and John the president, who was compering, announced to the hall "Mayor of Fareham wins raffle prize. I can see the headline in The News." Three or four prizes later, my mother won one, and John announced "Oh dear, now the Mayor of Gosport's won one. There'll definitely be an inquiry in The News." Amid a couple of good-natured yells of 'Fix', she chose a box of Christmas candles and some perfume. Towards the end, when, as John put it, "there's only the naff prizes left," one of my tickets was called. From the three remaining prizes I chose a pair of picture frames, which my mother will always find a use for, and a nice-looking lady's purse, which I'll give to Kim for her 40th birthday next month.

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