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Aug. 6th, 2006 10:11 amStarted yesterday in a foul mood. Last week, my subscription copy of FourFourTwo arrived with several pages of the season preview missing, so I phoned them and told them and they promised to send another copy. Yesterday morning arrived another copy of not this month's FourFourTwo but LAST month's! I threw it across the room in a rage. I was particularly pissed off at them as they've also made a fuck-up of collecting my subscription payments from my bank account, necessitating, through no fault of mine, them saying they'll send me another standing order form to fill. I phoned them to report this latest cock-up, but their office was closed Saturdays. Arsebiscuits.
But it was on with the motley for Hardcore Sue's wedding. Arrived at the church at 12 noon as requested to be met by James the groom, Matt the best man, Kev my fellow usher and James' dad Ray ... and we promptly all headed for the Village Home for the next half hour. Matt bought me a pint of Deuchars (new to me, not bad at all) and we spent the time discussing football, while Kev revealed James had had a nerves-steadying vodka and lime before they'd set off.
Kev and I stood outside the church, catching everyone as they arrived, handing them Orders of Service, asking whether they were 'bride' or 'groom' and telling them which side to sit. At 12.52 Hayley and her boyfriend Joey, who'd come over from the States, arrived and she and I embraced and said fond hellos before they went in. Sue hove into view and Kev and I slipped into the church and sat down at the back of the groom's side.
It was quite a nice ceremony. What the first hymn was escapes me now! Sue and James said their vows without a hitch, Father Ted gave us a nice sermon, we had the second hymn Sing Hosanna, then the choir sang Ave Maria during the signing of the register. The bridal party proceeded back up the aisle, Kev and me joining on at the back. Everyone milled around outside for a couple of minutes, a few people took random photos, Sue and James got into their car, and Sam (the matron of honour) and I cadged a lift in Matt's car to Foster Gardens for the photos.
Hayley and I had a quick chat during the photo session, explaining to people that we'd been at the Sixth Form college together. I talked to Sam and Kev while the family shots were being done; we took cover under the shade of the trees, reflecting that while today was quite hot, it was nice having a sunny day for the wedding and thank goodness it wasn't the boiling temperatures of two weeks ago!
From there we went on to the Thorngate. Before going into the ballroom which was laid out for the wedding breakfast, we all piled into the members' bar (though none of us are members, the wedding party seemed to have a dispensation to use it). Sam bought me a Magners - a cider I'd never tried, that she strongly recommended, and very good stuff it was too. I joined Hayley, Joey, Debs and her husband Nick at a table. Hayley and Joey were talking about their own wedding, so I asked whether they'd set a date yet. Hayley said the 7th of July next year - "seven seven seven". I asked whether they'd be having it in England or the States, and she said "Over there, in New Jersey" - then added that she'd love me to come over! I promised to be there.
Around 3 pm, the toastmaster, quite a sight in his official red suit with some badge of office or other round his neck, banged a gavel (a sound we were to become very familiar with) and announced that all the wedding party could go through to the ballroom. Checking the seating plan, I saw to my delight that I was on a table with Hayley and Joey, plus Debs and Nick - who, as soon as I saw his name, I realised had been in my year at school!
We weren't allowed to sit at the tables just yet, though. We were kept to the bar area until 4 pm. As soon as I returned to the bar from checking out the seating plan Nick came up to me. He'd obviously had exactly the same thought as me, as he asked whether I'd been at St Vincent with him and I said yes. He bought me a Magners and he, Debs, Hayley, Joey, Sam and I all sat talking until four. Hayley and Joey invited all the others to their nuptials and I filled everyone in on my Australian and Swiss excursions.
At the wedding breakfast our table was completed by two girls called Sarah and Ann. Sarah was a friend of Sue from her days working in a video shop in Winchester; Sarah now lived in Peterborough where she'd made friends with Ann, whom she brought as her guest. In front of each of us was a packet of Love Hearts, personally gift-tagged, which highly amused the girls on our table - none of us had seen Love Hearts for over two decades! Joey kept us all entertained with non-stop joking and clowning the whole time, playing up a bit to the 'loud mouth American' stereotype, joking with Hayley about their relationship and flirting with Sarah and Ann. Lots of fun, though, although it was obviously just joke flirting, I felt a little bit cut out as I rather liked Sarah but Joey's whole act reduced me to a supporting player so put an effective brake on the possibility of my making headway. Joey kept wanting to ting his glass three times with his knife; we explained to him that if he does that he has to offer a toast, which he was quite keen to do but Hayley dissuaded him. Hayley talked a bit more about the wedding, said the best airport to fly into would be Newark but we could also come into JFK - they'd arrange taxis for us whatever - and recommended the Holiday Inn in Totowa as a cheap place to stay near the wedding venue.
We never heard the end of the toastmaster's gavel. He banged it to announce starter, to tell us we were about to be called up table by table for the buffet, to get us to stand for speeches, to get us to sit down again, to announce dessert, to announce coffee and to tell us the wedding breakfast was officially over. The food was very nice - melon for starter, then a first class buffet with Coronation chicken, beef, ham, pasta, salads and perfect new potatoes. After the main course came the speeches, all of which went well - Matt's was really funny, and Sue made a quick speech herself at the end. Next was a choice of desserts, lemon tart, profiteroles or strawberries - I went for the strawbs, delicious. There was a fun camera on every table, and a lot of us had brought cameras too, so in between courses we all took all sorts of photos of each other.
After the end of the wedding breakfast at 6.15, we had official down time until the start of the evening party at 8. All the smokers took advantage of the extended break to go outside for a fag or two. My wee group went back to one of the bar tables for more idle chat. Sam asked whether I'd be dancing, and I said no on the grounds that I know I can't dance and when I try I'm pretty sure I look like a sad muppet. Sam dismissed that, saying there's no such thing as being unable to dance, you just do it differently, and under her urging I promised to join her for a boogie.
I did get up for a groove whenever a song I liked came on; sadly, that wasn't as often as one might have wished, as much of the music was techno or dance stuff that left me cold. After Sue and James did their first dance, the DJ invited 'everyone' up on the floor for the second record. As I was boogieing alone a random girl came up and took my hand, I did my best to dance with her for the duration of the song, at the end she bowed and said "Thank you, sir," I bowed back and replied "Thank you, madam" and that was that, or so I thought.
I spent most of the evening just sitting at a corner table with my little group. While Sarah and Ann were with us for most of the night, the volume of the disco rendered conversation next to impossible. Now and again I ventured to the bar area to buy a cider and black, or, on several occasions, have one bought for me. Not too long into the proceedings I was standing by our table supping a cider and black, not intending to hit the dancefloor again for a while, when Don't You Want Me? by the Human League came on and Miss Random and a friend approached me out of nowhere. "Come and dance with me and Steph," Miss Random demanded.
The three of us, all on our own out there, had a restrained boogie throughout the record. Miss Random unnerved me a bit when she appeared to face me directly and speak "Don't you want me?" as that line was sung, but the rest of the time we just all grooved peacefully. At the end Miss Random said "Thank you" to me again, but sounding a bit withdrawn. This time I thought that had to be the end of the story...
More relaxed drinking and laughing with Hayley and Joey. I went to the gents, then on my way back, as I passed Miss Random's table Steph stopped me. "Tracy" - she indicated Miss Random - "would like you to ask her to dance." I was amazed my obvious lack of dancing skills hadn't put her off by now, but I said I would when a record I liked came on. I was in a quandary, as I didn't want to be unfriendly, but felt awkward imposing my sub-standard dancing on someone else, and I didn't fancy Tracy so if she had any thoughts in that direction I didn't want to raise her hopes unfairly.
Those thoughts were put on hold with the opening of the buffet. I piled my plate generously, headed back to our table to eat, then relaxed until the DJ put on American Pie. One of my all-time most favourite songs. I went over to Tracy and asked her to dance. I could tell straight away that it wouldn't have been her choice of record to take the floor to, but we both made a pretty decent fist of it - until the end of the fifth verse, when she thought the song was over, disengaged arms and said thank you, accidentally knocking my specs off in the process. I picked them up while she realised there was one more verse, we danced for that final verse then as the song ended and the next one came straight on a bloke came up and said "Excuse me, may I have the next dance with this lady?" Off the hook, I thanked Tracy and left them to it.
A bit later Claire, Sarah and Ann asked me to take a photo of them with Claire's digital camera. I took one, they asked me to do one more, I did, they looked at it and - not intended for my ears, to be fair - Sarah said "Don't like that one." I walked back crushed to our table and the comfort of my cider and black.
At about 10.30 I popped out to the gents and heard the sound of Irish music coming from elsewhere in the Thorngate. I followed the sound out front, where in one of the rooms, with the door open, an Irish band was playing All Around My Hat. Weary of the techno and disco, I looked enviously at the people at that party. I stayed out front, gulping gallons of thin air and lapping up the rest of the song.
There was a photocall for all the men closely involved in the wedding. As we all lined up, most of us sozzled by now, James and a couple of his pals sang a Southampton football song, while one lad, a Pompey fan, shook his head and tutted. The last hour of the disco was better as we got some fun tunes. As Cotton Eye Joe came on and I began boogieing, one young lady grabbed me and whirled me energetically round the floor, and we had a great time - though exhausting! - doing our "different" style of dancing to the Rednex tune. That was all she wanted from me and all I wanted from her. Perfect.
Sue and James left at 11.15 saying fond, if inebriated, goodbyes to us all, we had a couple more records then at 11.30 it was all over. I said my farewells to Hayley and Joey and we exchanged e-mail addresses, then followed the crowd flow out to the front where 'The Irish Rover' was just finishing, said goodbye to Sam, Matt and Kev and wended my way homeward.
But it was on with the motley for Hardcore Sue's wedding. Arrived at the church at 12 noon as requested to be met by James the groom, Matt the best man, Kev my fellow usher and James' dad Ray ... and we promptly all headed for the Village Home for the next half hour. Matt bought me a pint of Deuchars (new to me, not bad at all) and we spent the time discussing football, while Kev revealed James had had a nerves-steadying vodka and lime before they'd set off.
Kev and I stood outside the church, catching everyone as they arrived, handing them Orders of Service, asking whether they were 'bride' or 'groom' and telling them which side to sit. At 12.52 Hayley and her boyfriend Joey, who'd come over from the States, arrived and she and I embraced and said fond hellos before they went in. Sue hove into view and Kev and I slipped into the church and sat down at the back of the groom's side.
It was quite a nice ceremony. What the first hymn was escapes me now! Sue and James said their vows without a hitch, Father Ted gave us a nice sermon, we had the second hymn Sing Hosanna, then the choir sang Ave Maria during the signing of the register. The bridal party proceeded back up the aisle, Kev and me joining on at the back. Everyone milled around outside for a couple of minutes, a few people took random photos, Sue and James got into their car, and Sam (the matron of honour) and I cadged a lift in Matt's car to Foster Gardens for the photos.
Hayley and I had a quick chat during the photo session, explaining to people that we'd been at the Sixth Form college together. I talked to Sam and Kev while the family shots were being done; we took cover under the shade of the trees, reflecting that while today was quite hot, it was nice having a sunny day for the wedding and thank goodness it wasn't the boiling temperatures of two weeks ago!
From there we went on to the Thorngate. Before going into the ballroom which was laid out for the wedding breakfast, we all piled into the members' bar (though none of us are members, the wedding party seemed to have a dispensation to use it). Sam bought me a Magners - a cider I'd never tried, that she strongly recommended, and very good stuff it was too. I joined Hayley, Joey, Debs and her husband Nick at a table. Hayley and Joey were talking about their own wedding, so I asked whether they'd set a date yet. Hayley said the 7th of July next year - "seven seven seven". I asked whether they'd be having it in England or the States, and she said "Over there, in New Jersey" - then added that she'd love me to come over! I promised to be there.
Around 3 pm, the toastmaster, quite a sight in his official red suit with some badge of office or other round his neck, banged a gavel (a sound we were to become very familiar with) and announced that all the wedding party could go through to the ballroom. Checking the seating plan, I saw to my delight that I was on a table with Hayley and Joey, plus Debs and Nick - who, as soon as I saw his name, I realised had been in my year at school!
We weren't allowed to sit at the tables just yet, though. We were kept to the bar area until 4 pm. As soon as I returned to the bar from checking out the seating plan Nick came up to me. He'd obviously had exactly the same thought as me, as he asked whether I'd been at St Vincent with him and I said yes. He bought me a Magners and he, Debs, Hayley, Joey, Sam and I all sat talking until four. Hayley and Joey invited all the others to their nuptials and I filled everyone in on my Australian and Swiss excursions.
At the wedding breakfast our table was completed by two girls called Sarah and Ann. Sarah was a friend of Sue from her days working in a video shop in Winchester; Sarah now lived in Peterborough where she'd made friends with Ann, whom she brought as her guest. In front of each of us was a packet of Love Hearts, personally gift-tagged, which highly amused the girls on our table - none of us had seen Love Hearts for over two decades! Joey kept us all entertained with non-stop joking and clowning the whole time, playing up a bit to the 'loud mouth American' stereotype, joking with Hayley about their relationship and flirting with Sarah and Ann. Lots of fun, though, although it was obviously just joke flirting, I felt a little bit cut out as I rather liked Sarah but Joey's whole act reduced me to a supporting player so put an effective brake on the possibility of my making headway. Joey kept wanting to ting his glass three times with his knife; we explained to him that if he does that he has to offer a toast, which he was quite keen to do but Hayley dissuaded him. Hayley talked a bit more about the wedding, said the best airport to fly into would be Newark but we could also come into JFK - they'd arrange taxis for us whatever - and recommended the Holiday Inn in Totowa as a cheap place to stay near the wedding venue.
We never heard the end of the toastmaster's gavel. He banged it to announce starter, to tell us we were about to be called up table by table for the buffet, to get us to stand for speeches, to get us to sit down again, to announce dessert, to announce coffee and to tell us the wedding breakfast was officially over. The food was very nice - melon for starter, then a first class buffet with Coronation chicken, beef, ham, pasta, salads and perfect new potatoes. After the main course came the speeches, all of which went well - Matt's was really funny, and Sue made a quick speech herself at the end. Next was a choice of desserts, lemon tart, profiteroles or strawberries - I went for the strawbs, delicious. There was a fun camera on every table, and a lot of us had brought cameras too, so in between courses we all took all sorts of photos of each other.
After the end of the wedding breakfast at 6.15, we had official down time until the start of the evening party at 8. All the smokers took advantage of the extended break to go outside for a fag or two. My wee group went back to one of the bar tables for more idle chat. Sam asked whether I'd be dancing, and I said no on the grounds that I know I can't dance and when I try I'm pretty sure I look like a sad muppet. Sam dismissed that, saying there's no such thing as being unable to dance, you just do it differently, and under her urging I promised to join her for a boogie.
I did get up for a groove whenever a song I liked came on; sadly, that wasn't as often as one might have wished, as much of the music was techno or dance stuff that left me cold. After Sue and James did their first dance, the DJ invited 'everyone' up on the floor for the second record. As I was boogieing alone a random girl came up and took my hand, I did my best to dance with her for the duration of the song, at the end she bowed and said "Thank you, sir," I bowed back and replied "Thank you, madam" and that was that, or so I thought.
I spent most of the evening just sitting at a corner table with my little group. While Sarah and Ann were with us for most of the night, the volume of the disco rendered conversation next to impossible. Now and again I ventured to the bar area to buy a cider and black, or, on several occasions, have one bought for me. Not too long into the proceedings I was standing by our table supping a cider and black, not intending to hit the dancefloor again for a while, when Don't You Want Me? by the Human League came on and Miss Random and a friend approached me out of nowhere. "Come and dance with me and Steph," Miss Random demanded.
The three of us, all on our own out there, had a restrained boogie throughout the record. Miss Random unnerved me a bit when she appeared to face me directly and speak "Don't you want me?" as that line was sung, but the rest of the time we just all grooved peacefully. At the end Miss Random said "Thank you" to me again, but sounding a bit withdrawn. This time I thought that had to be the end of the story...
More relaxed drinking and laughing with Hayley and Joey. I went to the gents, then on my way back, as I passed Miss Random's table Steph stopped me. "Tracy" - she indicated Miss Random - "would like you to ask her to dance." I was amazed my obvious lack of dancing skills hadn't put her off by now, but I said I would when a record I liked came on. I was in a quandary, as I didn't want to be unfriendly, but felt awkward imposing my sub-standard dancing on someone else, and I didn't fancy Tracy so if she had any thoughts in that direction I didn't want to raise her hopes unfairly.
Those thoughts were put on hold with the opening of the buffet. I piled my plate generously, headed back to our table to eat, then relaxed until the DJ put on American Pie. One of my all-time most favourite songs. I went over to Tracy and asked her to dance. I could tell straight away that it wouldn't have been her choice of record to take the floor to, but we both made a pretty decent fist of it - until the end of the fifth verse, when she thought the song was over, disengaged arms and said thank you, accidentally knocking my specs off in the process. I picked them up while she realised there was one more verse, we danced for that final verse then as the song ended and the next one came straight on a bloke came up and said "Excuse me, may I have the next dance with this lady?" Off the hook, I thanked Tracy and left them to it.
A bit later Claire, Sarah and Ann asked me to take a photo of them with Claire's digital camera. I took one, they asked me to do one more, I did, they looked at it and - not intended for my ears, to be fair - Sarah said "Don't like that one." I walked back crushed to our table and the comfort of my cider and black.
At about 10.30 I popped out to the gents and heard the sound of Irish music coming from elsewhere in the Thorngate. I followed the sound out front, where in one of the rooms, with the door open, an Irish band was playing All Around My Hat. Weary of the techno and disco, I looked enviously at the people at that party. I stayed out front, gulping gallons of thin air and lapping up the rest of the song.
There was a photocall for all the men closely involved in the wedding. As we all lined up, most of us sozzled by now, James and a couple of his pals sang a Southampton football song, while one lad, a Pompey fan, shook his head and tutted. The last hour of the disco was better as we got some fun tunes. As Cotton Eye Joe came on and I began boogieing, one young lady grabbed me and whirled me energetically round the floor, and we had a great time - though exhausting! - doing our "different" style of dancing to the Rednex tune. That was all she wanted from me and all I wanted from her. Perfect.
Sue and James left at 11.15 saying fond, if inebriated, goodbyes to us all, we had a couple more records then at 11.30 it was all over. I said my farewells to Hayley and Joey and we exchanged e-mail addresses, then followed the crowd flow out to the front where 'The Irish Rover' was just finishing, said goodbye to Sam, Matt and Kev and wended my way homeward.
