(no subject)

Hardcore Sue picked me up at 10.30 to drive to Southampton for my wedding suit fitting. She was in a courtesy car, as hers was being fixed after getting a dent in the boot from one of the kids at her school... On the drive she told me all about how she'd fallen out big time with Jeanne, a pal of ours from college days who had been a long-time good friend of hers and was going to be her bridesmaid - no longer! Sue asked whether I'd had any more trouble from Jade since the night she threw a wobbly last summer; I replied in the negative and, in fairness, told her how Jade had saved me from superbitch Jane on Good Friday, then added the story of Bill throwing his toys out of the pram on Monday. "We're both getting too much shit, aren't we?" Sue said, shaking her head and smiling sardonically. Then Sue asked me all about my Melbourne adventures. She was delighted that my mother got re-elected and is going to be Mayor. I asked Sue how much hiring my suit would cost and when I'd have to pay; she said it was £75 and that Matt would pay all the deposits on his credit card today and I wouldn't have to pay up until a week before the wedding. Phew. As we entered Southampton, Sue launched into a succession of comments about what a shithole the place was and insults about its people!

We parked in the Asda car park - Sue drove all the way up to level 7, as that was the first floor with parking spaces that weren't next to a pillar (she hates parking next to pillars as she lost a wing mirror that way once). James had phoned her to say he, Matt (his brother and best man) and Kev (my fellow usher) would be 10 minutes late, and we were a bit early. It started to rain. We nipped into Yates's wine bar for a quick coke. Sue asked me why I don't have my phone on all the time; I said I do have it on whenever I'm not at home, except during a shift at work when I have to switch it off. She said she often phones or texts me to find my phone off, so I told her if my phone is off outside working hours she can get me on my home number. That didn't totally satisfy her. Meanwhile, she told me how her mum has been sending her messages about how she fancies her dad (they've been divorced 30 years) including one about how she was getting a smart new outfit for the wedding so 'Watch out Sonia [Sue's stepmother]!' Of course Sue finds the whole thing hilarious.

Sue got another call from James so we drank up and walked down to Moss Bros to meet his party. Matt was measured first. Sue had told me that Matt was ENORMOUS, and she was right. The biggest jacket in the shop, a 58, didn't fit him so they've had to order a 60 for him to try on next week. Next it was my turn. The assistant asked me my measurements and gave me a jacket, trousers and waistcoat to try on. As I'd thought I was a 44 waist, I was gratified to find I could get the 42 trousers on - even if the waistband sits below my love handles... The jacket was fine, but I couldn't button up the Large waistcoat so on coming out of the fitting room I asked for an XL - that fitted. When the assistant put the cravat on me, a highly amused Sue said I looked "posh" and that I'd have the women surrounding me at the reception. She insisted on taking a photo of me with her phone.

We waited for Kev and James to try theirs on, filled out the order forms and went downstairs. Sue and James stopped us by the cufflink table and looked at a few links. As we left the shop Sue told us we could either buy our cufflinks or have them as our present from the bride and groom. I opted to have them as my gift.

We all went to Que Pasa for lunch. For a Spanish tapas restaurant, the menu had quite a Greek flavour! I had an excellent lamb burger, then Sue couldn't finish her (enormous) Feta cheese salad so I ended up having half of it - that was delicious too. We sat around drinking and chatting for a little while, then wandered down to West Quay as Sue wanted to go to the Body Shop. Outside the entrance, Sue suddenly decided she wanted to go to Superdrug too. As we waited for her, Kev observed that shopping is simple to him - he knows what he wants to buy, simply goes to the shop, buys it and goes. I said that's exactly how I shop. "So does every man," said Matt.

Sue emerged, and she and I said our goodbyes to the others and wandered through West Quay, which turned out not to have a Body Shop, but did have the pair of earphones Sue was looking for in Dixons; as my old pair are falling apart, they were selling for £9.99, and Currys in Gosport don't sell stand-alone earphones, I treated myself to a pair too. Coming out the other side, we passed a Big Issue vendor. I stopped to buy one then had to leg it to catch up with Sue, who'd bombed on ahead. Seeing the Issue in my hand, she said she'd stopped buying it after a vendor was rude to her last year. As we passed the front of Asda on the way to the car park lifts, we noticed the flags of the 32 competing countries of the World Cup hanging over the row of checkouts. A father and little son passed us; the boy was asking what the flags were and his dad said "I think they're the World Cup countries."

I confirmed that they were, and the man said "Who's going to win it?"

"Germany," I said.

"Do you think so?" He sounded surprised.

"Yes. They've got home advantage, and Brazil are below par right now, they've got internal problems."

"What about England?" he wanted to know, but just then he and the boy disappeared into Asda.

Back in the car Sue gave me my wedding invitation, complete with a bank deposit form for paying into their 'Wedding Fund' to allow them to get themselves anything they'd like instead of asking for wedding presents. We drove home in the bucketing rain - Sue said how her friend Louise had invited her to a barbecue that night, and added "I don't think that's going to happen now!"

This evening, joined in the Maria Lawson fans' online chat for an hour and a half, had my birthday meal with the parents - Chicken Maryland, rose wine and posh ice cream - then watched the programme about Bobby Moore on BBC2.