Dec. 24th, 2007

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Fay brought in some home-made fudge for the nibbles table - very tasty, although Marilyn and Christine #3 doubted very much whether she'd made it. There was also a nearly-full box of luxury chocolate biscuits and some leftover Mars and Milky Way Celebrations.

One of my calls was to an elderly lady who was very hard of hearing and, however loudly and slowly I spoke in the opening minute, asked me to go louder and slower. I ended up doing the whole interview practically shouting with a pause after almost every word. At the end Marilyn came up to me with a smile, said "Well done" and offered me a biscuit from the box. Later, after one old man refused on me - he said he'd already done it, and when I explained that he had to do four follow-up interviews, he nonsensically said "Yes. Thank you. Goodbye" and hung up - Marilyn and Heather #2 said "We've been greatly entertained by your oldies."

One oldie was no laughing matter. As I asked her whether this was a convenient time, she cut in with "No convenient time. I'm not interested" and hung up on me mid-sentence while I was starting to explain to her that it was the same survey she'd done before. Then on my last call of the day a bloke interrupted my intro with "Oh, forget it" and gave me the silent treatment.

Peace and goodwill to all mankind.

On a brighter note, I may have made a convert to the Hawk Faith. A guy in my row spotted me reading Non-League Today and started a conversation about football. He was a Southampton supporter but has become disillusioned with the way professional football has gone in the last 15 years. I urged him to come down to Westleigh Park and see a real game of football, promising to stand him a pint if he came to see me in the bar before a game, and he said he might. While he lives in Swanwick, he actually said he'd rather watch Havant & Waterlooville than his local team E*******h because our admission fee is £10 to their £14 (and we're in the same division). Here's hoping I've done enough to win him over.

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The Man Who Loves Laura Bassett

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