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Mar. 25th, 2007 06:30 pmLast night was my mother's fund-raising dinner at Lee Golf Club. Me ma decided to take the people-carrier and give lifts to Gran, Woggle and Fascist Loonie Louie - fair enough, they don't have their own transport, but it became clear right from when we set off that Woggle was in a really sarcastic mood this evening and his stream of caustic comments soon began to grate.
When we arrived, Uncle Graham came over and bought me a London Pride. I circulated for a wee while, then sat with my friend Vanessa and talked to her until we got the call to go in for the meal. I was next to Sarah, and we had Richard, Tony and Margaret on our table, so dinner passed in stimulating conversation, albeit mostly around political issues (at least we are all broadly of one mind so it never turned ugly). The food - roast beef with horseradish sauce, roast potatoes and veg, followed by strawberry cheesecake - was absolutely faultless. Next came the speeches from John, the dinner's organiser (exhorting people to be generous in their auction bids), and my mother, and after that Martyn introduced the auction. All the lots fetched decent prices; at the end my father proudly announced that we'd raised over £1000 for the Mayor's Charities.
Martyn then introduced the disco, and added that there was karaoke if anyone fancied it, actually mentioning me by name at that stage (my reputation as a karaoke king has spread through the parents' circle of friends). Early on in the disco, as I passed by the dancefloor Margaret tried to drag me up there, but I gave her the slip and reached the safety of a bar table where the karaoke book lay. After a few minutes' consideration I opted for Down In The Tube Station At Midnight, filled in a slip and handed it to the DJ.
I hadn't planned on dancing, but Sarah asked me and I couldn't say no to her, so we did some restrained boogieing to half a dozen sixties songs, till she went off to talk to Syd.
I returned from the jacks to find everyone was waiting for me to sing. I gave it my best shot (complete with Margaret doing 'ooh-oohs' - as soon as I took the mike, she came and stood next to me and said she'd "do the do-wops", but there aren't many of them in Down In The Tube Station At Midnight) and stepped down to several people complimenting me on my rendition. Nobody else had volunteered, so it was back to the disco.
A bit later my mother came over and, laughing, said "What can we get Martyn up doing on karaoke? Something easy." So I chose Amarillo, and my mother filled a slip in with Martyn's name on and gleefully handed it in. Minutes later the DJ called Martyn up; he went forward with extreme reluctance, and was told someone had offered to donate £500 to the Mayor's Charities if he sang karaoke. Martyn immediately offered £1000 to be let off! Fair play to the guy, he went through with it, albeit with Tracey, Margaret, my mother and me all doing backup vocals - the women's vocals were so loud they drowned Martyn out, I'm sure halfway through he stopped singing altogether.
A bit later I put in to do Is She Really Going Out With Him? I gave that one everything I had, and at the end was met halfway across the dancefloor by Margaret saying "You rocked it!" Sadly, those three performances were the sum total of the evening's karaoke. You'd think at least one other person would have had a go, miserable sods.
Tony and I then got talking about music - "You like New Wave, then? So do I," he said. "I like rebel music." The room and disco had been booked till midnight, but by 11.20 everyone except the people who'd travelled with us had gone, so we phoned for Peter to collect us. Woggle was still being a sarky-trousers all through the drive back. When he moaned about kebab shops, my mother mentioned that I'm a great kebab aficionado, but he went off on one about local kebab shop owners and how he intended to harass one of them over a driving licence. Of course, Louie, being a fascist loonie, joined in with him and we all had to listen to them banging on about teaming up as vigilantes against the town's fast food purveyors. It was a relief when we finally dropped Louie off.
It was after midnight when we got back and I was bush whacked. Hit the hay, totally forgetting to put the clocks forward.
Hamble today for Hawks Ladies' Invitation Cup semi-final with Red Star. They're still selling Greene King IPA for a pound a pint :D While the girls were getting changed, Rob made a point of thanking me for my support through the season. The pleasure's all mine...
We were on the main pitch this time; Lyn was delighted to have a covered stand with benches to sit on. We won 6-0, with a goal from the new girl, Jodie - I think she is going to be something special - but that was overshadowed when Sabrina, straight after scoring the fifth, was collided with by a Red Star defender, went down and didn't move. It was soon obvious she'd got a bad injury - Lyn and Rose could see she was crying - and Simon went for the stretcher, only for Lisa and the ref to tell him not to move her and call an ambulance.
When the paramedic arrived, he told us there'd been an incident in Southampton that morning and five ambulances were needed there so we'd have to wait a while. Meanwhile, some of the Red Star players were horsing around, giving each other piggyback rides and squirting water at each other; Rose thought she'd heard one of them say in a celebratory tone that they'd injured one of ours. That got relayed to Jade, who was outraged and wanted to go after the Red Star girl who'd said it; Lyn and Rose were anxious to calm her down, so no-one would tell her which one it was.
Still waiting for the ambulance, we played out the last 20 minutes on the outside pitch. When the game ended, I had to start walking to be sure of catching my train, though no-one would have been in much of a celebratory mood anyway. The ambulance arrived just before the end; as I walked by the side of the ground on my way to the station I saw them attending to Sabrina, with Lisa in attendance.
Was walking along the road to the station when Nigel and Denise pulled over and motioned to me to hop in the back of their van, and they gave me a lift to Fareham bus station.
When we arrived, Uncle Graham came over and bought me a London Pride. I circulated for a wee while, then sat with my friend Vanessa and talked to her until we got the call to go in for the meal. I was next to Sarah, and we had Richard, Tony and Margaret on our table, so dinner passed in stimulating conversation, albeit mostly around political issues (at least we are all broadly of one mind so it never turned ugly). The food - roast beef with horseradish sauce, roast potatoes and veg, followed by strawberry cheesecake - was absolutely faultless. Next came the speeches from John, the dinner's organiser (exhorting people to be generous in their auction bids), and my mother, and after that Martyn introduced the auction. All the lots fetched decent prices; at the end my father proudly announced that we'd raised over £1000 for the Mayor's Charities.
Martyn then introduced the disco, and added that there was karaoke if anyone fancied it, actually mentioning me by name at that stage (my reputation as a karaoke king has spread through the parents' circle of friends). Early on in the disco, as I passed by the dancefloor Margaret tried to drag me up there, but I gave her the slip and reached the safety of a bar table where the karaoke book lay. After a few minutes' consideration I opted for Down In The Tube Station At Midnight, filled in a slip and handed it to the DJ.
I hadn't planned on dancing, but Sarah asked me and I couldn't say no to her, so we did some restrained boogieing to half a dozen sixties songs, till she went off to talk to Syd.
I returned from the jacks to find everyone was waiting for me to sing. I gave it my best shot (complete with Margaret doing 'ooh-oohs' - as soon as I took the mike, she came and stood next to me and said she'd "do the do-wops", but there aren't many of them in Down In The Tube Station At Midnight) and stepped down to several people complimenting me on my rendition. Nobody else had volunteered, so it was back to the disco.
A bit later my mother came over and, laughing, said "What can we get Martyn up doing on karaoke? Something easy." So I chose Amarillo, and my mother filled a slip in with Martyn's name on and gleefully handed it in. Minutes later the DJ called Martyn up; he went forward with extreme reluctance, and was told someone had offered to donate £500 to the Mayor's Charities if he sang karaoke. Martyn immediately offered £1000 to be let off! Fair play to the guy, he went through with it, albeit with Tracey, Margaret, my mother and me all doing backup vocals - the women's vocals were so loud they drowned Martyn out, I'm sure halfway through he stopped singing altogether.
A bit later I put in to do Is She Really Going Out With Him? I gave that one everything I had, and at the end was met halfway across the dancefloor by Margaret saying "You rocked it!" Sadly, those three performances were the sum total of the evening's karaoke. You'd think at least one other person would have had a go, miserable sods.
Tony and I then got talking about music - "You like New Wave, then? So do I," he said. "I like rebel music." The room and disco had been booked till midnight, but by 11.20 everyone except the people who'd travelled with us had gone, so we phoned for Peter to collect us. Woggle was still being a sarky-trousers all through the drive back. When he moaned about kebab shops, my mother mentioned that I'm a great kebab aficionado, but he went off on one about local kebab shop owners and how he intended to harass one of them over a driving licence. Of course, Louie, being a fascist loonie, joined in with him and we all had to listen to them banging on about teaming up as vigilantes against the town's fast food purveyors. It was a relief when we finally dropped Louie off.
It was after midnight when we got back and I was bush whacked. Hit the hay, totally forgetting to put the clocks forward.
Hamble today for Hawks Ladies' Invitation Cup semi-final with Red Star. They're still selling Greene King IPA for a pound a pint :D While the girls were getting changed, Rob made a point of thanking me for my support through the season. The pleasure's all mine...
We were on the main pitch this time; Lyn was delighted to have a covered stand with benches to sit on. We won 6-0, with a goal from the new girl, Jodie - I think she is going to be something special - but that was overshadowed when Sabrina, straight after scoring the fifth, was collided with by a Red Star defender, went down and didn't move. It was soon obvious she'd got a bad injury - Lyn and Rose could see she was crying - and Simon went for the stretcher, only for Lisa and the ref to tell him not to move her and call an ambulance.
When the paramedic arrived, he told us there'd been an incident in Southampton that morning and five ambulances were needed there so we'd have to wait a while. Meanwhile, some of the Red Star players were horsing around, giving each other piggyback rides and squirting water at each other; Rose thought she'd heard one of them say in a celebratory tone that they'd injured one of ours. That got relayed to Jade, who was outraged and wanted to go after the Red Star girl who'd said it; Lyn and Rose were anxious to calm her down, so no-one would tell her which one it was.
Still waiting for the ambulance, we played out the last 20 minutes on the outside pitch. When the game ended, I had to start walking to be sure of catching my train, though no-one would have been in much of a celebratory mood anyway. The ambulance arrived just before the end; as I walked by the side of the ground on my way to the station I saw them attending to Sabrina, with Lisa in attendance.
Was walking along the road to the station when Nigel and Denise pulled over and motioned to me to hop in the back of their van, and they gave me a lift to Fareham bus station.
