Oct. 17th, 2006

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At 7 am this morning Ocean FM's breakfast DJ, Richard Williams, announced that the theme for the next hour would be 'Women You Fancy But Shouldn't', invited listeners to text in their nominations, and added that his was Ruth from Spooks. As I trooped into the bathroom, I texted in with my long-time guilty fancy - Jennie Bond.

I'd thought Richard would simply read out all the nominations. 30 seconds later I'd started running the tap to shave when my phone rang. It was Richard, wanting to record a segment with me for broadcast! He was absolutely gobsmacked by my choice ("JENNIE BOND!?!"), though he did admit that she'd been brilliant on I'm A Celebrity - Get Me Out Of Here 3. After he'd asked how old I was - 35 - and pointed out that Jennie is in her 50s, he asked what it is about Jennie that makes me fancy her. I said I couldn't quite put my finger on it and he retorted "You can't quite put your finger on it but you'd like to," and said goodbye.

The record playing ended, and as I shaved, Richard read out someone else's nomination - Connie Beecham from Holby - then my conversation with him was relayed to the listeners of Hampshire. At the end, Richard said "Come on, keep them coming - we can surely do better than Jennie Bond." Bloody cheek.

In the end only one other person called in before I went to get the bus - he too spoke to Richard on air; his fancy was Sarah Beeny of Property Ladder.

The coffee machine in the canteen is now dispensing hot brown water with lumps of coalesced granules in :( In better news, Christine #2 can swap in for me on Wednesday 20 December - it suits her, as there's a Monday she wants off, so I'm able to join my mother at the HMS Sultan Freedom Parade.

At the end of the shift Diane asked whether I'd be in tomorrow. I said no, I'd be back next Monday, as I'd swapped tomorrow and Thursday to Rachel to let her have all of half-term week off.

"Oh no, we've got Rachel, have we?" said Vanessa pretending to be miffed. "Yes, sorry," Rachel tittered. Vanessa turned to me - "We'd rather have you." Oh what fun we have...

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The Man Who Loves Laura Bassett

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